Cecilia Anne Knapp

Last week I performed in Soho at the Launch of the amazing...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 23:06:01 +0100

Last week I performed in Soho at the Launch of the amazing charity ‘Little Episodes’ new book launch, in conjunction with the Albert Kennedy Trust. It was incredible. There were amazing people lending their talent to the cause, including Carl Barat. Read more about little episodes and the brilliant event here: http://littleepisodes.org/

A little video of Early doors, the poetry collective I belong...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:54:51 +0100

A little video of Early doors, the poetry collective I belong to. Filmed and edited by Charlie Carr-Gomm.

Start of a new poem inspired by my job at a shit pub.

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 16:12:45 +0100

I pour a Fosters.

Look at the clock.

He pays in coppers and tries to hold my hand for too long.

Asks me what I do for my ’ real job’.

’ I’m a poet, I suppose’.

He just laughs,

And moves closer to my side of the bar.

I’m a bit scared of life.

I’m a little bit scared of not getting it right.

Writing Time.

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 01:05:20 +0000

Writing Time.

So I’m poet in residence for March at my favourite London...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 01:02:00 +0000

So I’m poet in residence for March at my favourite London poetry night BANG SAID THE GUN. Its a total honour, I love these guys and they’ve been really helpful and supportive to me in my career so far.

We made Anthologies in aid of CALM featuring the Early Doors...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:58:00 +0000

We made Anthologies in aid of CALM featuring the Early Doors poets, Harry Baker and Joshua Idehen

I lost my brother Leo to suicide in May. Amongst all the shit...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:54:00 +0000

I lost my brother Leo to suicide in May. Amongst all the shit that comes with losing someone you love so much came this pervasive feeling. I want to do something to make this into something more than just a shit and heartbreaking situation. My friend and fellow member of Early doors Jack introduced me to a charity called CALM. It stands for The Campaign Against Living Miserably and its a charity raising awareness about suicide and depression in young men. Did you know its the biggest killer of young men in this country today? They aim to reduce the silent stigma surrounding suicide, the room silencing and dangerous attitude towards something that I believe fundamentally needs to be talked about. I think thats the first step in reducing this shocking statistic. As a writer, I’ve found that producing work helps me keep sane and figure out all the stuff in my head. I whole heartedly believe creative expression is one of the most incredible ways to address depression and even suicide. So myself and the amazing friends and poets of Early Doors decided to put on a night at the Roundhouse raising awareness and money for this incredible cause. We had amazing acts headlining, Harry Baker who is world SLAM champion, Joshua Idehen, an incredible writer and performer and the lovely Jordan Stephens, one half of Rizzle Kicks. A few of Early Doors performed too. The night was incredible. We raised a bunch of money, made people laugh, cry and listen. I was very very happy. They asked me to be an ambassador for the charity after the night and I gladly accepted.

We were even in Marie Clare, who’s charity of the year is CALM, check it:

http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/lifestyle/541381/save-the-male-charity-fundraiser-for-calm.html

But more importantly, check out the amazing CALM and the incredible work they do:

www.thecalmzone.net

For Leo.

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:40:23 +0000

It’s the type of table that makes you feel lonely.
Varnished quadrilateral sincerity. Your knee touching my knee.
Are you ok?
You look away.
And I’m reminded of how too many of my childhood days were spent in waiting
Rooms, trying to stay awake.
Your hoody hangs on barely there shoulders.
The thing is, I didn’t notice what I didn’t see.
It was only after it happened that I realised you never wore short sleeves.
As I feed red wine into the cracks of my lips
I dip my fingertips into melted wax and lean back.
Mismatched wine glasses scream from newspaper placemats.
And I cant wait to just go outside and twos a rollie with you
Like we used to.
I hear 90’s beats play from your bedroom, even though its dinner time.
Its been 5 years and now your’re fine.
But my mind always goes back to the days when I chased the sun around the pavilion
Picking up printed knees from grass to avoid the shade
And stamping spliffs with heels
Whilst spraying cans of cheap aerosoles.
The days I spent trying to put you from my mind.
And when the time came to gaffa tape up all my belongings
And move those 60 miles away from that city
I switched the Albert for the Marquis
For my pints.
Swapped the sea for the A32 through New cross
And played pool badly with the new boys.
I tried not to think of you then.
Because those days were so much easier
Without the thought of your pain
And the constant mention of your name.
The slip from the childhood bond to nothingness
Was too real.
From school holidays swimming in the Lake at the Norest
And begging mum to let us stay up late
Enough to finish inventing worlds.
Wooden train tracks running from Attic to basement
And even our knives and forks had invented stories and faces.
We used to sing duets from the Lion King
And I’d never understand why you wanted to be the evil one all the time.
I suppose you knew there was evil in the world even then
And when Mum died you were proved right.
And when we found out I tried to squeeze you tight
But you walked out stern faced
And turned out the bedroom light.
You balled up your fists in the back of the Ford Mondeo
On the way to the city that would fuck you up
Away from the dull mute of the midlands
And to the Dad who’d made another home for our new lives.
With the cat on top of our boxes in the boot. Clinging on for dear life.
And yes, you’d always been difficult.
Chopped the heads off my barbies
And left them, exhaultant, under my pillow.
And I never really did think about the time you put bleach in my bath
And didn’t compute the consequences
Like you thought you were some kind of bond villain.
But difficult had a new face on the days when the police started bringing you home.
Too many times to just put it down to naive White Lightening cider drinking
Early teen park experience.
And as White lightening turned to vodka
And vodka turned to weed and pills
And pills turned to god knows what
I felt your face as I know it slip from my mind.
You kept your hair shaved that whole time.
Stopped telling jokes and watching family guy
With me on a Friday night.
And though I tried to keep you as mine
You belonged to whatever dark corners you found yourself in the night time
To the bits of Brighton parents are scared of.
The ones that give the statistics.
The parts that inhibit the migration of the middle classes
Who’ve always wanted to live by the sea,
Semi bohemian lefties who’ve always supported the green party.
You started to not care about the times I’d wait up for you on the stairs.
The lock would click and you’d look past as though I wasn’t there.
And though I tried to speak my words just buzzed, wasp like, round your ears.
And you just sighed, closed the curtains and slept the days away,
Kept on with those days until
Your cheeks were mapped with the kind of veins that give your secrets away.
But it wasn’t enough. You became closed off.
Richmond superkings and neat whiskey with tracksuit clad friends stopped
And the door to your bedroom was always locked
With only the light from a lavalamp you got for your 13th Birthday shining
From underneath.
And the day that we picked you up from Brighton General, you told me with no words that you couldn’t manage anymore,
And I told you that I would lose myself looking after you.
You said you didn’t want me to.
We stood outside automated doors with cold hands on cold cans of cheap pop.
Its all they had in the shop.
And I told you that anything you asked me to do for you, wouldn’t be big enough.
But you just smiled, looked at me and said ‘ two’s up.’

EARLY DOORS

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:33:00 +0000

EARLY DOORS

I’m in a poetry collective with some of the most amazing...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:29:56 +0000

I’m in a poetry collective with some of the most amazing and talented people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet and we’re called Early Doors. We put on our first proper night at the Roundhouse in February and it was amazing. We sold out and generally had a fucking wicked time. Here’s my boy Jack Rooke performing and another cool shot.

So I’m making an EP with an incredible producer fusing...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:25:20 +0000

So I’m making an EP with an incredible producer fusing spoken word with music. Its making me pretty happy. Some shots from the studio.

Apples and Snakes commissioned a show called ’ The...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:23:05 +0000

Apples and Snakes commissioned a show called ’ The Rememberers’. Its a live hip-hop graphic novel/story/spoken word/rap set in the future. Its pretty cool. So it was on at the Old Vic Tunnels ( amazing location) and I had the privilege of opening the show with some other wicked poets. We wrote stuff especially for it and also ran some workshops for young people in London Schools. Overall, it was pretty amazing to be involved in.

This is the start of a story.

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 23:21:38 +0000

We were born into small town syndrome.

Small town. Loose tongues, hum drum, too young.

We spent our days in drones,

Seeking grass to lie on and listening to Forever Young,

We thought we were the only ones.

The only ones who rushed from the first drag of a cigarette,

Who flushed when his lips touched the tip of it before he passed it to yours,

Who knocked on doors on lazy Lewes streets

To bunk the train to Brighton and dip feet in the sea under the pier.

We stole older brothers mixtapes

And lived, listening, in piles of hoodies in parks

On those days that now seem as though they went on forever.

Warm beer. Trust.

Myspace and lip gloss and letters to boys,

Pretending to make love.

We thought we were the first to discover The Smiths and Pete for the first time

And realise what it feels like to actually feel and cry

Or take a pill for the first time

As our heart rates increased with our hormones

We swapped stories of losing ‘it’

In a park, or a stifling single bed

Or on the floor of an irrelevant front room with pulp fiction

Playing in the background

But only because it’s cool.

A million and one things rushed through our heads.

Laughing gas in the priory ruins

Shivering under torch light

Feigning that we weren’t cold,

Or that bench in the Grange where everyone’s secrets were told.

These were our days.

We wrapped ourselves in naivety and cliché

But we had each other.

We were too big for this town.

Waiting to get out.

Walking side by side along Kingston Road,

We thought we were invincible.

Not everyone though.

Some people get left behind,

Take the wrong track and fall stumbling at the wayside.

Writing Sunday.

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 15:31:24 +0000

Writing Sunday.

After a year of workshops with Polarbear at the Roundhouse,...

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 14:02:15 +0100

After a year of workshops with Polarbear at the Roundhouse, writing, gigging around London, completing a festival tour and performing our debut show at the Edinburgh Festival, the Roundhouse Poetry Collective have graduated and become ’ Early Doors’. We’ll be up to some exciting stuff in the new year as a collective and individually. Website to follow.

Another promo film for Come Rhyme With Me. This is my...

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 13:56:00 +0100

Another promo film for Come Rhyme With Me. This is my piece.

I’ll be performing this and others at Come Rhyme With Me at Cottons in Islington this Friday, the 26th October.

The lovely Dean Atta and Deanna Rodger who run a wicked spoken...

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 13:55:38 +0100

The lovely Dean Atta and Deanna Rodger who run a wicked spoken word night in London called Come Rhyme With Me asked me to shoot a couple of videos in the run up to the night. I was asked to do a cover which was cool, I’ve never done it before. So I chose T.S Eliot’s ‘Preludes’ because when I first read this when I was about 15, I knew I wanted to write.

Some performance photos from the festival season. Busy Summer.

Thu, 11 Oct 2012 16:04:11 +0100

Some performance photos from the festival season. Busy Summer.

Me and my girls Jess Green and Maria Ferguson performing at...

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 00:13:00 +0100

Me and my girls Jess Green and Maria Ferguson performing at Secret garden Party 2012 in the One Taste tent. We had a wicked time.

Photos by Charlie Carr-Gomm

http://charliecarrgomm.tumblr.com/

So, we’ve been working on this project at the Roundhouse...

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 22:56:24 +0100

So, we’ve been working on this project at the Roundhouse for 10 weeks called Talking Doorsteps where you work with Polarbear to generate poems which engage with place. So I wrote about London and my experiences with this city. The I worked closely with director Natasha Jarvis to produce a film of the words. And it was premiered at the Roundhouse tonight. So here it is. Check out the page and the other amazing pieces of work that were produced.